Robin Williams is probably one of the funniest men alive. Here are some of my all-time favorite quotes of his, which I’ve kept in a .txt file for years.

“We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”

“Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and “tics” meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.”

“Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.”

“Do you think God gets stoned? I think so… look at the platypus.”

“Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.”

“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.”

“Ah, yes, divorce… from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”

“What’s right is what’s left if you do everything else wrong.”

“We Americans, we’re a simple people… but piss us off, and we’ll bomb your cities.”

“Cricket is basically baseball on valium.”

“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.”

“If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?”

“When in doubt, go for the dick joke.“

“Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.”

“Cocaine addiction is God’s way of saying you make too much money.”

“If alcohol is a crutch, then Jack Daniel’s is the wheelchair.”

“You want an amendment against same-sex marriage? Anyone who’s ever been married knows it’s always the same sex!”