I’m going to cut straight to the chase on this one.
The Expendables is one of the worst movies ever made. Ever. Made. I am not exaggerating, here.
I don’t even know where to begin. There was no plot to speak of, the dialogue was a disjointed mess, the characters were paper thin, the action scenes were lame and vanilla, and there was a noticeable absence of hot women save for one annoying chick who couldn’t act her way out of a wet paper bag. What the fuck were they thinking when they grunted out this piece of retarded shit?
Seriously. This movie is a chaotic wreck. Neither Arnold Schwarzenagger nor Bruce Willis fit into the story at all – not to mention the fact that neither of them is in the movie for more than three minutes. Dolph Lundgren’s performance was a bad joke. Sylvester Stallone looked like some sort of mutant. Jason Statham was as one sided as he always is in his movies. Jet Li looked like he’s put on about sixty pounds. Randy Couture should never be allowed to act again and Terry Crews should know better than to associate his name with something as awful as this movie.
And don’t even get me started on Steve Austin or Mickey Rourke. Giant train wrecks.
I think the only redeeming quality of the entire film is Terry Crews’ automatic shotgun. I almost crapped my pants laughing a couple of times when he whipped that thing out. Then again, I may have just been laughing to keep from crying.
If you haven’t already seen this pile of hot mess, do yourself a favor and skip it. It’s not the homage to eighties excess that it was billed as. It’s a perversion of everything that makes a good action movie. I want my money back and I didn’t even pay to see it.
A couple of friends and I watched this movie yesterday after drinking a couple of beers. It was really fun and the movie was good!
I think you did not like the movie, because you left out the beers
I think your problem is that you went in expecting a storyline, and decent acting, and generally a plot. I think that says more about you being retarded than the movie. I went in, knowing exactly what I was going to see, and loved it, along with the rest of the cinema where I saw it.
And not to sound petty, but it’s Terry Crews.
It was pretty much what it was meant to be–a “B” list actor’s chance to do a Ocean’s 11 type action movie. What has peeved me is that the new ads are including the whistling ditty from Bridge over the River Kwai. Come on now, associating this turd with a classic movie about Bataan?
Thanks for the note on Terry Crews’ name. I’m not sure where I got Terry Masters from. Beer + Post, I suppose.
In any case, I don’t think I’d have enjoyed this fucking mess even if I were piss drunk and completely oblivious to who was in it or what it was about.
I agree, I went in knowing I was going to get a whole lot of cheesy shitty action scenes (Austin vs. Stallone, Statham taking on those guys at the basketball courts, Li fighting Lundgren, a classic dig at the Big Man verse the Little Man, oh my) and thoroughly enjoyed it.
wow man. I really liked the movie personally. It was a typical stallone movie and with that said, totally enjoyable as such.
Contrary to the rest of the audience, me and four friends thought it was a hilarious comedy.
Every time Steve Austin was on screen, we burst out in laughter (“look at me, I’m big, bald, I have a beard and I can look grumpy, ergo: I’m a tough hombre”), the dialogs are as logical as a bowl of punch (and strangely, equally entertaining) and the writing is just top notch (or was it timing? I actually asked a friend where the hell Terry Crews went, and literally seconds later he comes in screen (slightly preceded with audio-cue) aa-12 blazing.
Schwarzenegger is old, Willis outacted nearly everyone except Statham, Stallone: just lay of the botox man, you SHOULD look old at the tender age of 62. Now you just look like a sugar coated baby with a beard.
(and loads of folks in our cinema took this title WAY too seriously
)
“What’s his problem?”
“He wants to be president.”
The was the most hilarious movie ever. It was great! It was ridiculous and insane and totally random.
Ok helmets, let’s stop playing devil’s advocate and trying to defend this movie, it was shit, really shit
…. end of.
Oh, well if you say “end of”, that’s that so. Wrap it up folks, discussion’s over.
Ok this movie was really shit but never before have I laughed so much during an action film, in fact most comedies don’t have me laughing as hard as this did. See this movie and think of it as the best worst movie you will see this year. The entertainment is endless.
i pretty much knew what it was, to be honest. i think they did it for the lulz tbh.
could possibly be a case of troll bait
Yeah, it was pretty obvious this was going to be a terrible movie.
good thing i havn’t actually watched it, will consider torrenting it now because of mixed reviews.
It licked giant hairy donkey balls. The movie could have been great if only they’d ended it near the beginning after the strafe run on the docks where shit blew up. After that, total let down.
Really the entire point of that movie was to see how much shit and people could be blown up in a movie before getting an NC-17 rating while also having as stupid dialogue as possible. It worked, the movie was incredibly terrible, but because of that it was hilarious. It was more or less the action movie version of The Room.
Ya you clearly expected too much. I went wondering what it would be. To me the point seemed clear; its about all those actors being in action together. Thats it. Nothing more. I personally liked it. I like the simplistic take and the rough edges. Terry Crews was great, so was Jason Stathem. The arnold scene was more funny than serious. Hes too old to take too seriously lol.
You guys honestly can’t deny how awesome the auto-shotty scene was.
Like many others who have already commented, I went in not expecting a plot, just lots of action, and liked it a lot. So did everyone else I went to see it with. Audience reaction in the theater to some of the flashier stuff was great too.
I was more upset that the sound of the Ducati was totally wrong than I was about the bad/lack of acting. That and Stallone going through 3 pistol mags in less time than humanly possible.
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this is the same concept as TV’s “The Love Boat” – take a bunch of old-time has beens and see what suckers will pay for sentimental reasons
I laughed so hard AT this movie, much like it hurt Sylvester to run in this movie.