Dating: The McDonald’s Analogy
Posted by Mr. BlueI don’t know where this came from but I love it.
I know a girl who broke up with a guy and she told him she wanted to “still be friends.” He said, “No thanks.” She wondered why he couldn’t fall back to being just friends after they had a romantic relationship. I came up with the “McDonalds Analogy” to try and explain it in a simple way that would help all women understand this tough question.
Imagine if you went to McDonalds a lot and ordered a Big Mac Combo meal. A Big Mac, Large Fries and a Coke. You really like this meal. One day, you pull up to the drivethrough and order the Big Mac Combo meal and the girl tells you, “I’m sorry – you can have the Big Mac and the Coke, but you can’t get fries with that anymore.” You think about this for a moment, and sure – the Big Mac is the centerpiece of the meal, but McDonalds has some really good fries and you like their fries with your meal. So you say, “I’ve been able to get fries with that before, why can’t I have fries with my Big Mac combo anymore?” The girls says, “Well, I just think it is better if you only have the Big Mac and the Coke from here on out.”
At this point, a lot of guys are going to go to Wendy’s or BK and see if they can get fries with their combo at that drivethrough window. But there are some guys who REALLY like McDonalds Big Macs and they might think, “If I keep coming here and ordering the Big Mac and Coke, maybe she’ll change her mind and give me some fries with that later.” So they will keep on getting the combo without the fries until the deal breaker happens: One day that guy is going to order the Big Mac and Coke and then he’s going to pull up a little bit to pay, and someone else is going to pull up to the drivethrough speaker and order the “Big Mac Combo” and he is going to hear the girl say, “Would you like fries with that?”
That’s why guys don’t like to be friends with a girl who breaks up with them.
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Got another one for you, found it on bash.org.
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it’s unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he’s a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she’s a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it’s a shitty lock. That shut her up.
http://bash.org/?908184#d
Comment by Rik — 11/17/2009 #
God damn it. Awesome.
Comment by Mr. Pink — 11/17/2009 #
Wow…
Comment by mamono — 11/17/2009 #
both that and the first comment were fucking ossim!!!
Comment by Squirl — 11/17/2009 #
Instead of fries, I would have said she was tossing you water instead of Coke- just sayin, but good analogy
Comment by JBully — 11/17/2009 #
i’ll drink to that!
Comment by romper — 11/17/2009 #
haha good analogy
Comment by violet — 11/18/2009 #
It came from reddit… just saying. You can look it up there, its been referred to more than once.
Comment by T — 11/18/2009 #
Buddy, youre an idiot. That makes no sense at all. So if girl doesnt give it up, she cant be your friend? ahahahahahahah thats brilliant. I mean of course, if you cant have sexual intercourse why try and be friends with a girl, even though she loves and trusts you, but doesnt find you physically attractive? Im a female, obviously, and both of my best friends are guys and one of them is my exboyfriend and what we had before made us even better and closer friends. Some guys are just true and honest and dont see you as a pair of boobs and legs.
Comment by Milk — 11/18/2009 #
@Milk
You missed the point (not surprising really). Guys are perfectly capable of being friends with girls on a non sexual level. But when your long term girlfriend breaks up with you and “want’s to still be friends” what she’s really saying is:
“I want you to continue hanging out with me and doing all the things we usually do, but sex is out of the question, there are better guys for that”
Maybe this will make it easy for you Milk (since all women have marriage on the brain):
Replace the above scenario with a wife and husband. She wants a divorce, but doesn’t “want to ruin our special friendship” is the guy a chum or a cuckold for staying her friend?
Comment by Red — 11/18/2009 #
I’m only 13, and stumbleupon is my new favorite thing ’cause it took me to a page with pornography advertising on it. Hopefully it will cause me to get porn spam emails. I’m totally beating off right now. *splat!*
Comment by bonersoup — 11/20/2009 #
Awesomeeee analogy
bt im sure even wid dis analogy 50% of d gurlz wont understand it 
bt gd job
Comment by unknownguy — 11/20/2009 #
For those of us who cant speak Idiot here is a translation of what unknownguy said. “Awesome analogy
, but I’m sure even with this analogy 50% of the girls won’t understand it. 
, but good job.”
That being said, I’m considering linking my this to my ex who still wants to be friends.
Comment by LiterateGuy — 11/21/2009 #
Seen it before, it’s pretty annoying. Whoever wrote it needs to man up and plainly say “I don’t want to/can’t be friends with you”. That’s okay. You don’t have to tell some bullshit story about how she’s wronged you by, for some inexplicable feminine reason, withdrawing sex fries from the relationship menu. Beside, keeping in touch because you’re hoping to get back together? Classy.
Unless you already paid for those fries, she can give them to whoever she wants.
Comment by dunk — 11/21/2009 #
If girls don’t understand this, they shouldn’t be giving away fries.
Comment by Elaine — 11/21/2009 #
This is absolutely the truth.
Women: If you break up with a Guy and ’still want to be friends’ do not expect them to reciprocate.
Men: If a woman ever uses the line ‘lets be friends’ or something similar tell her exactly what is on your mind, and don’t think you will be able to get back with her. In her mind you were never a real consideration anyhow.
Comment by Anonymouse — 11/22/2009 #
I don’t understand what the big deal is. I’m still friendly with some of my ex-boyfriends, some of whom are now married. I suppose if there are feelings involved, and someone gets hurt, you might not want to be friends. One of the guys who’s a Facebook friend now hurt me very badly in college. Took me many years to get over it, but then I grew up, realized he had just been honest with me about a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere, and, well, got over it.
As for Rik, a slut is a slut is a slut. If you fuck a lot of people you’re a slut no matter what your gender. And it’s nothing to be proud of. There’s nothing that turns me off faster than a guy bragging that he’s AIDS bait.
Comment by Frenchy — 11/22/2009 #
Gods, thank you Frenchy.
All this “women don’t understand us menfolk” talk is a bunch of garbage and I’d bet most of the trolls on this link are successfully continuing their sexless fap-filled lives, while the idiots who DO listen to this garbage are gonna be the douchers us “brainless womenfolk” are gonna tell each other to stay the FUCK away from.
So, effectually, you’re not getting your fucking fries anytime soon.
Grow the fuck up and deal with your breakup like an adult, not a bratty child who gets their candy taken away.
Comment by Rugbygirl — 11/22/2009 #
@Rugbygirl
Seems to me like you’ve got a bit up pent up anger. Been doing more rucking than, well…you know. The, “I still want to be friends” isn’t only about a now sexless relationship, but a regression. Personally I find it to be a childish action on the part of women, and not men for being frustrated with the prospect. If you don’t have the same feelings thats fine, no one is asking you stay in the relationship, but it is ridiculous for women to chastise men for promptly telling them to fuck off when say, “Hey, I think we should break up. Want to be friends still?” Have you thought we may be a bit upset with the break up, or is it really us being upset at our future, “fap-filled lives” It clearly isn’t about that. The “fries” in this analogy represent more than sex, but a personal proximity to the other person which at this point for men is integral to the relationship (initially sex may have just been an action, but even men are capable of becoming attached, contrary to your pop-psychology cliches). Is it possible? Yes, absolutely, and I applaud it when it happens, but don’t act like you are personally offended when men aren’t interested in being your new “bestie” once you pull the plug.
Stifle yourself Rugbygirl, and go easy on the name-calling. I played rugby in college, and “troll” is more often applied to the women’s team.
Comment by Stifleyourself — 11/22/2009 #
bravo stifleyourself….bravo…
Comment by wow — 11/23/2009 #
So what about the story in reverse? What’s up with your ex telling you…”Wow I can’t wait until the divorce papers go through, so the sex can be amazing again. I’ll actually have to try and impress you!” Am I a bitch ’cause I want nothing beyond a cordial relationship with him. (It was a long-term marriage and there are kids) I don’t want to hang out with him, I don’t want to tell him about the new men in my life (and I certainly don’t want to know about the tramps he’s sleeping with). I’ve also had guys tell me THEY just wanted to be friends. I understand where your analogy is coming from completely…dude I have NO intention of seeing someone else making you happy and knowing they’re getting the sex I used to. But it does go both ways Mr. Blue.
Comment by Nipper — 11/23/2009 #
I think you’re missing the point Nipper, its wrong if a man does that as well, but this type of answer seems to come from women more often than men. That being said, perhaps all of you are seeing this as far to personal of an analogy. Stop applying your lives to it and understand that everyones situation is different and that this analogy is legitimately funny and does apply to certain circumstances. The whole thought that men are only missing sex when the relationship ends is horribly close minded and wildly feminist in every way. Men have certain needs and feelings beyond sexuality, and perhaps if you understood that instead of blaming all your problems on sex you’d read and think before immediately getting offended
Comment by hilarious — 11/23/2009 #
I am female and have friends that are exes. This line always goes down SO much better than the whole ‘friends’ thing: ‘Any chance of some casual if there’s a dry spell after this?’ Boys tell me you would much rather hear that.
Comment by ilovestumbleupon — 11/23/2009 #
I am female and have friends that are exes. This line always goes down SO much better than the whole ‘friends’ thing: ‘Any chance of some casual if there’s a dry spell after this?’ Boys tell me you would much rather hear that.
Comment by ilovestumbleupon — 11/23/2009 #
this is vacuous rubbish. written for simple minded chauvinists who think a fast food analogy will dissolve the philosophy of a relationship. the sort of fodder who visit the sites in the add below.
Comment by Valerie Solanes — 11/24/2009 #
Another way to shut up a slut bitching about how guys cannot be sluts, while she’s the biggest one in town is to tell her how sex anatomy of men and women are different in a fundamental way. For instance, even a rather unattractive young girl can stand in the middle of the street and ask for sex and she’ll get multiple partners, even ones better looking than herself. Now, what would happen to guy doing this? Why, this tells you that a girl without control can really go over and beyond in sluttiness – and it’s something a guy simply can’t do. F.u.c.k. you sluts. I loved both stories in the beginning and the latter comments.
Comment by Tupac — 11/24/2009 #
I apologize ladies, @Tupac just undid every positive thing the men on here have tried to say.
Comment by Stifleyourself — 11/25/2009 #
Listen, at the end of the day, it’s night,
Comment by Stumbleuponthisubitch — 11/25/2009 #
YOU are an IDIOT!!!!!
Comment by Anonymous — 11/25/2009 #
Well, not all girls don’t understand this. My friends and I have passed this site around to each other, and we have all understood that fries=sex, and that the burger and pop=”hanging out” (also known as “dates”).
The sad part is that a few have had to show their exes this page to explain why the didn’t want to “still be friends”.
Guys, go for the nerdy girls. We understand such topics, and enjoy much of the same things you do.
Comment by Cheyenne — 11/25/2009 #
Why are women so full of rubbish ? I think they want everything on their own terms without any concern for how the guy might be feeling. This analogy is just a way of trying to penetrate the wall of oestrogen that women tend to live behind. It clouds their fundamental thinking processes, so we need simple analogies to explain stuff to them.
How would you like it (women) if your lover came one day and told you, “hi, I’m dumping you and going with that new girl on the block, but we can still be friends” ? Easier to understand now ?
Comment by ksdhfbfghksl — 11/26/2009 #
ok I get the analogy, if a guy is still emotionally attached of course he wont want to be “just friends” thats understandable. But I have a question for the guys, is it wrong if I to broke up with my boyfriend but still sleep with him sometimes? I just started casually seeing someone else but its nothing serious right now. Should I just stop seeing my ex altogether?
Comment by vanessa — 11/27/2009 #
@ilovestumbleupon, I would have LOVED to hear that from my Ex.
@vanessa, Depends if he knows it’s all just about sex
@Mr. Blue, I am very hungry right now…especially for some fries.
Comment by Name — 11/27/2009 #
Rik – to your bullshit about keys and locks. – why is the penis a key and the vagina a lock? why can’t it be the other way around? you are a sexist pig.
Comment by Anna — 11/28/2009 #
Rik – to your bullshit about keys and locks. – why is the penis a key and the vagina a lock? why can’t it be the other way around? you are a sexist pig.
Comment by Anna — 11/28/2009 #
I’ve long realised that all I care about in a partner is the girls appearance. The personality can be changed or I’ll change to accommodate it. Many people are in denial about this fact, and will tell them-self (and the girl) they are interested in their personality. Interest in personality is a lie. It’s how men are genetically hardwired. We want gorgeous girls.
Comment by anon — 11/28/2009 #
To Anna: Way to miss the point of the analogy entirely. You clearly have no understanding of the fact that women don’t have to work for sex and are therefore a better comparison to a lock than a penis. A key always wants to open a lock, but a lock doesn’t always want to be opened. Open your mind, don’t call men sexist pigs, and learn to think clearly, maybe then you’ll get laid and we won’t have to hear you bitch anymore.
Comment by Daniel — 11/28/2009 #
I’m a girl and I have said to an ex that I couldn’t be friends with him anymore. I understand not wanting to be friends. It’s not just a guy thing. And is it just me or are there are a lot of chauvenists commenting?
Comment by oiwejafiohfwa — 11/29/2009 #
awesome!!
Comment by Jenny — 11/30/2009 #
I just stumbled upon this, and I feel it would be wrong for me to press the stumble button again without letting you know how awful this analogy is… you wasted my time and obviously thought about this wayyyy too long thus wasting your own time
Comment by bob — 11/30/2009 #
all these girls takin this the wrong way… but stop talking// you would feel the same way about someone that just broke up with you- seein him with another girl is messed up, u wont wanna be there
Comment by dubbed — 11/30/2009 #
@anon , anon is right beauty=love it is how men are : although there is a very good book called “love is a thing that must be learned” , it explains how human love can be found in many different situations, and also how huge it can be
Comment by dubbed — 11/30/2009 #
You like Mcdonalds’ food. That makes you an idiot. Why should I listen to you?
Comment by joe — 11/30/2009 #
dion12@satomix.org
Comment by dion — 11/30/2009 #
Wow, im a girl and I understand now. Poor guy..
make him feel better for me!! *jokes* ummm …
that wouldda taken me ages to get some thing like tht, most of the tim ei jst copy off the person sitting next to mee!!¬!
Comment by LouLOiu — 12/01/2009 #
You know.. guys do that too.. and even worse.. they do it because they still want to have sex with you WITHOUT THE COMMITMENT.
If she breaks up with you, TOO BAD. Of course you’re not going to get SEX… she’s saving it for someone she wants to give it to. Man up. A girl has the right to date whoever she wants. Same for guys. They have the right to date whoever they want, fuck whoever they want, and it doesn’t bother them.
All these comments make me wanna throw up because they’re so stereotypical. You expect women to be a good girl and stay home but you go around fucking other girls. Then when she breaks up with you but still want you around because she still loves you, you complain you won’t get to fuck her anymore? Lame.
Comment by uhhh — 12/01/2009 #
And really.. you should stop with this analogy and somebody has to delete this page.
I understand if you’re a sensitive guy and got your heart broken by a bitch who wants to take advantage of you.
But umm.. most guys aren’t good guys anymore..and it’s not just me it’s a fact.
This had happened to me and a guy told me that he still want to be friends. But the truth is, he just wants to fuck me. Guys don’t have to work hard for sex if a girl has already fallen for him. Unless he did something that serves him right to work hard for it (ie cheating on her)
Comment by uhhh — 12/01/2009 #
to the guys:
not sure whats wrong with most of yall. maybe got your heart broke by your first piece or just suck at “eatin fries”. man up, if a girl tells ya they wanna be friends then be ok with it if you genuinely was friends with here before she took the kitty box away. or tell her to fuck off if thats all you was chasin. i cant stand to see you sensitive ass nancy men cryin bout your emotions and shit when a girl breaks up with ya. grow some fuckin balls.
to the women:
guys by nature dont be-friend women genuinely. its all about the ass. (with the exception of the gay, closet gay, or insecure) dont let em lie to ya, if they stay friends with ya its cause they think there is a shot to get some still. funny part is its normally true though. aint nothin for an ex (that is still a friend) to call up a old flame after a breakup for some sympathy sex. yall are so predictable. thats why i love ya. that and the whole ass thing.
Comment by truth — 12/03/2009 #
I am a vegetarian and I still try to fuck every girl that i have ever met ever so i dont get the whole mcdonalds shit anyway?
Comment by maniteelover4lyyyfe! — 12/03/2009 #
I think this analogy is awesome! My wife wants a divorce now and as we head towards the final dissolution of our marriage, i have not an ounce of love or like left for her and will be forgetting her as soon as the decree says we are done. I don’t want her to be happy- but miserable all the rest of her days and if she was in front of me on fire- I wouldn’t piss on her!
Friends, not a fuckin’ chance!
Comment by Micky — 12/03/2009 #
@Micky:
You are fucking psycho.
@The guys:
Some of u dudes are chovinist retards
@The girls:
some of u need to grow up 2.
Truth is correct…BUT it’s not true in every case and every situation. I’m a straight, confident guy and I have attractive female friends whom I’ve never boned or tried to bone. Everyone is different but in GENERAL dudes just want to tap dat laides so be warned.
Comment by Tom — 12/03/2009 #
You rock! just saying.
Comment by Kristen — 12/04/2009 #
This analogy is brilliance. Don’t listen to these butthurt females. I certify this 100% True.
Comment by Mitch — 12/04/2009 #
I’m a girl and I thought that analogy was friggin hilarious!! Although I’ve been good friends with almost all of my ex’s, I can sort of understand what the analogy is saying
Comment by Ashleyy — 12/05/2009 #
Bravo everyone. My girlfriend who I am still deeply in love with asked me… right after breaking up with me “Can I still be your friend?” . I said, flat out, “this is impossible, sorry.. no matter what i’ll never be able to think of you as just a friend”. That made her sad. Unfortunately, because I have a blackberry she’s been contacting me through bbm (she lives in france and I live in the US) all the time and I caved and started talking to her (as I obviously have a soft spot for her). After weeks of talking to her off and on, now I’m the one who has the urge to reach out to her. FML.
Comment by Anonymoussympathizer — 12/05/2009 #
Oh. And I’m pretty damn sure the fries are out of the question. Whenever I mention that I miss her or something along those lines she just goes silent. She does ask me to edit her term papers though! FML.
Comment by Anonymoussympathizer — 12/05/2009 #
Does the analogy apply to europeans as well?
Comment by Anonymoussympathizer — 12/05/2009 #
Does the analogy apply to europeans as well?
Stifleyourself, that response was “legendary”.
Comment by Anewvoice — 12/05/2009 #
as a girl i can say that this clears things up kinda
i mean its not that we dont know this its just that girls are selfish and manipulative. they can try to get what they want (asking a guy just to be friends) but they wont always win.
but sometimes, if the guy really cares for her, they will win and wont care for the guys feelings
its not that girls dont get it. its just that they want to be loved by everyone. dumb but true
and that lock analogy is dumb. its not the same at all.
girls get called sluts cause they can pretty much go up to a guy, ask to have sex, and the guy will willingly oblige.
if a guy did that hed get slapped.
end of story
Comment by Mehh — 12/06/2009 #
look, this is how i see it. girls have to work just as hard for sex as guys – so all you guys who think we dont should shut up cause we want it just as much as you do and we work really hard to get you to notice us- on the fast food thing, i mean many things when i say that i want to still hang out with a guy- sometimes i want a booty call, or a long hook-up, sometimes i rally CARE about teh guy and do want to be freinds but i feel like sex has made us futher apart rather than closer. so think about the pep in the sisuation before you look at the prob, it’s diff in every situation.
Comment by gm — 12/07/2009 #
you all seem to be missing the point slightly – the relationship fries arent just about sex, they are about the closeness you share with the girl. to then be asked to stay friends with the girl, knowing that one day she is going to be close with someone else, is a hard thing to do.
so the fries is losing more than just sex. its losing everything that makes your girlfriend different to just another girl who is a friend. and that’s an important difference.
Comment by Daviey B — 12/08/2009 #
oh, and this applies the other way round too, im sure.
Comment by Daviey B — 12/08/2009 #
Ok, I’m a girlie, and when I read this, I actually went, “Aw” (and sniffled?) at the end.. I thought it was sad, and felt bad for the boy… and i understand—
if the same thing happened to a girl it’d be just the same. (i know, trust me)…
no one has to be friends with anyone anyway.. that’s just life!
Comment by TÃk — 12/08/2009 #
I am so amazed at the defensive females on here. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some guys on here who I would definitely throw in the “asshole” category based on some of you ladies’ responses (then again this is all on comments, so lets be realistic about how well we really know each others intentions). Basically, I think it is just hard for alot of guys and girls alike to go on after a serious relationship as just friends.
@stifleyourself: you hit the nail on the head friendo!
I just think it is sad that alot of people are assuming the only thing that separates friends from a serious relationship is sex. I have been and am still dating my girlfriend for almost a year, and I can tell you going back to the friend stage would mean losing alot more than just the physicality of our relationship…components of our relationship that are vital to me, that i would do anything to protect. I think this goes to show alot about our world’s view of “love” these days and it really makes me sad…almost mad…that people look at both gender’s with animosity just because you cant go bang one another. I have friends that are girls that i have also never even once made a sexual advancement towards, and never will. It’s called class and maturity. I feel sorry for those out there, guys and girls both, that cannot imagine maybe there are great people left in this world that are into some genuine companionship. Im just glad I have met and fallen in love with one of those poeple. I wish you all the best!
By the way people, this is located on a site referred to mostly by StumbleUpon, which people use for pleasure (i thought?) so whats with all the hostility anyway? if you dont agree with it, or understand it, just click the stumble but twice more and my bet is you will never see or hear of this page again. I, for one, thought it was a good analogy. When love is involved, everything changes everything, and reverse is not an easy move to make.
Comment by @CousinJordo — 12/09/2009 #
wow..some people take everything way too seriously
Comment by bug — 12/10/2009 #
@CousinJordo
You know, I thought I had something to say, and then you about said it all.
I’m glad there are still others out there who think as I do. It is sad when the world becomes so filled with those who give less thought and emotionality to it all (as many guys and girls both do nowadays) that the rest of the world has good reason to assume that everyone else will be the same.
But props to those who have the hope to realize that everyone is not the same and that there are still some “gems” out there. It’s just sad when what ought to be the standard is, in fact, the vast minority.
Comment by TheGooman — 12/10/2009 #
^ what he said
Comment by SWED — 12/11/2009 #
I’m sensing a little misandry from some of the ladies posting here. It’s just like CousinJordo said so I won’t bother saying anything else.
Oh and some of you are greatly misrepresenting what it means to be a man and to “man up”. You ought to be ashamed.
Comment by Blabber — 12/12/2009 #
It’s a boundaries issue. By stating that she wants to end the intimate portion of the relationship, she is in effect creating a one way boundary that he cannot cross. She still retains every bit of the benefit she has been enjoying in the relationship, while freeing herself to seek additional benefits elsewhere. He, on the other hand, must change his entire demeanor around her and fight back the natural impulse to reach out to her.
It would be the exact same if the roles were reversed…except that it seems universally accepted that if a man choses not to be friends after a relationship ends he is being childish, and if a woman does the same thing she is simply making a clean break to preserve her dignity.
Bottom line – it is unfair to EXPECT someone to simply bend to your will. You can offer the option, but if they decline you must respect their decision.
Food for thought…you break up with a guy. He agrees to remain friends. A week later he starts seeing someone else. Is it alright for him to discuss the relationship with you? If he talks about how happy she is making him, are you happy for him? If the answer is “no” then what kind of friend are you anyway?
Comment by Plato — 12/14/2009 #
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Pingback by Die McDonald’s Analogie, oder warum man nach einer Beziehung nicht befreundet bleiben kann | blog.crasp.de — 12/15/2009 #
“We can just be friends” is the same as saying, “I’ll no longer have sex with you, but you can continue to buy me dinner and presents.”
Comment by Anthony Stark — 12/15/2009 #
@Anna:
Fucking retard, it would be just as sexistic if he/she (rik) would turn it the other way around. I just want to kill people like you.
Comment by Anon — 12/16/2009 #
@Anon
Woah buddy, did someone miss thier nap today?
Comment by Mel — 12/17/2009 #
when that happens i usually just buy fries seperately, sometimes two extra fries at the same time. and anna IS wrong. vaginas look more like locks and penises, keys. what is she gonna do about it? grow a penis? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Comment by nate — 12/19/2009 #
Why cant I meet guys like this?
Why I get mails and calls after a year saying “you still have a special place in my life” blah blah shit….yeah I get it, she is not such a good fuck as when you were cheating on me, move to the next one!
Comment by jenny — 12/19/2009 #
To the poster ‘Milk’… Your comeback response, or attack as it was seen, was to criticize the analogy by admitting to being shitty and shallow?
And I quote, “…even though she loves and trusts you, but doesnt [sic] find you physically attractive?”
I’ll agree, the love and trust (usually) doesn’t just go away-that sometimes makes it even more difficult to simply be friends. But according to you, you can still retain all those initial feelings but will release a partner into the dump bin because you stopped being physically attracted to them? What the hell happened? Were they in an accident, did they ‘let themselves go’?
Where did your feelings of attraction go while leaving the rest of your feelings on the matter to remain? Shit, I wouldn’t want to be friends with a shallow little bitch like you and I probably would have passed on the other part as well.
Comment by Eattadick — 12/19/2009 #
I thought this analogy was perfect in almost every aspect. However, some guys don’t understand that sometimes the ‘lets be friends’ line is her offering the Big Mac and a Coke instead of telling him she doesn’t want his business anymore at all, not even for value menu. Some times you don’t want to tell someone to get the hell out of your restaurant when they didn’t do anything to deserve it.
Comment by squid — 12/19/2009 #
I loved you and we had a full relationship going and it was great– but one day you said we were done and you were moving on to someone new—but we could still be friends—WHY???
–when every time I see you I remember how it was and that it is no more and never can be like it was–
–when every time I smell you I remember your touch, caressing me, the touch of your skin to mine, the feel of your hair–
–when I hear your voice and the long talks, the whispers in the dark and the closeness we shared –
Friends? Why?? So you can use me to take up the slack when someone else is suppose to be there and isn’t ? So I can be on call if you find that you are a lone and bored and need someone to talk to? Or do you just want to make sure that I’m alone just in case you find out that the break up wasn’t such a good idea and I’m there for you?
I want away from you–I want to forget you–I want nothing to do with you. I don’t have the time for you –I want a relationship and hanging out with you won’t get that to happen. I’d rather be alone than be your pet.
Comment by Joey — 12/19/2009 #
Just out of curiosity, what if the GUY breaks up with the GIRL and uses the line about still being friends? Does that make them a prick? Or does that translate in man talk as “I want to keep you on the back burner unless I want to have sex, then I’ll come see you”?
Comment by curious — 12/20/2009 #
ok, lets try this analogy as to why the “lets just be friends” line hurts.
say you are a chef, you make a really great sandwich + soup combo. but you only make it for one person at a time. you have a contract (verbal or written) that that person will get a sandwich AND soup exclusively from you, and you agree not to give a sandwich or soup to anyone else.
then one day, that person sits you down and says “I really like yer sandwich, but yer soup is….well… salty. I’m going to start buying soup from the person down the block, but i’d still like to have your sandwich”
you are crushed. you always considered the sandwich + soup to be taken as a combo. you crafted the flavors to compliment each other, and you make your sandwich’s different for folks who DONT want the soup. not better, not worse, just different.
now you got someone who wants the sandwich that came with the soup (relationship) but not the soup (sex) but they dont realize that the sandwich is made differently without the soup (friendship)
in the end, they want the relationship, but dont realize that the relationship you are going to have will be different without sex. your consideration of the other person is going to change. not willingly, not out of spite, but because the entire relationship with the person is different.
its like chocolate milk without the chocolate. its just milk. its never gonna taste as good as the chocolate milk did.
Comment by Anonymous — 12/20/2009 #
Girls, imagine a guy saying “This is great and all, but can’t we just not be friends? Can’t we just fuck every once in a while?”.
Not cool right?
That’s what it’s like for us.
Comment by Anonymous — 12/20/2009 #
lol, you guys with your lock and key shit are so dumb. when will you learn that if you want to get laid calling women who also like to get laid sluts is not the way to go.
Comment by haha — 12/20/2009 #
It seems like a lot of people missed one little bit of info on the top. This is not a universal teaching, this was in response to one scenario. Girl A broke up with Guy A and he couldn’t handle going back to being friends. It is not saying that Guy X, being any guy, can never be friends with Girl X after a relationship.
Fries doesn’t have to be sex either, it doesn’t have to be physical at all. It can be the emotional response and romance he initally felt from being with her.
Comment by Anonymous — 12/20/2009 #
As a guy, with a girlfriend of 4 years, I can appreciate the analogy. If we were to break up, I could not go back to being friends. I know I would be too hurt, even if it was me doing the dumping. It has nothing to do with seeing her with someone else, or not wanting her to be happy, I definitely would. It would just be a constant reminder of what was, and what will never be. It would be much easier to move on with my own life without having to constantly look back on what life was.
As for the whole “slut” discussion, society is stupid, and stereotypes are stupid. Honestly the word slut is stupid as well. Some people are easily able to separate the emotional from the physical, and others are not. What people need to realize is that it’s okay either way. The problem most people have is that they don’t express this about themselves straight up. If you are in a relationship with someone and are unsure if it is just about sex to them, you need to find out or get out.
Comment by Anonymous — 12/20/2009 #
If a person does not want to remain friends after a break-up it is their choice, period. It does not have to become a petty, whiny “but WHY? I don’t understand!” scenario. Personally I’ve had two “just friends” scenarios in my life and I felt like I was being taken advantage of so I bolted (after a long long time…). I am friends with quite a few women but I will never again be “just” friends.
Comment by tiredoldbruce — 12/20/2009 #
FYI, I’m a male.
And although I’ve never had a girl give me the friend speech, I’ve given it to a few. The difference is always that it comforts them, even though I don’t intend to follow through on it. Now hold on, this sounds very insensitive but it’s just the way things have worked out for me. I take care of the girl for a while after we break up and inevitably she finds someone else with my help after her heart is healed.
It’s not that I’ve never been broken up with before, but I can’t place myself in the situation described. My good friends, however, always talk about this problem. My thoughts on it are this: men don’t owe women an explanation for not being friends. If women don’t get it then it’s their problem for not understanding you, and spoonfeeding them answers will only stifle their emotional growth and understanding toward men in the future.
Furthermore, I’d like to get into the “lock and key” discussion. Someone asked “Why does the woman have to be the lock? Why can’t she be the key?” or something to that effect. The answer is obvious. in mechanics, engineering, etc. keys are actually referred to as the “male” part and locks are the “female” part. That’s because the key is inserted into the lock, much the same way as a penis is inserted in a vagina.
But, let’s play off this for a minute. Is this fair, using metal objects to explain why women can be sluts but men aren’t? Maybe if we digged deeper, but as it is, no, it’s just terribly insensitive.
I want to say this: I know some promiscuous girls and girls who are vocal about how much they enjoy sex, and I wouldn’t call them all sluts. I also know some girls with these same traits that I WOULD call sluts. Sluttiness to me has always been much more about the attitude. Girls with a daddy complex who dress without taste, wear too much make-up, are too self-centered, and top it off with get laid a lot or having a record of cheating on their boyfriends… These are the girls I would call a slut.
Men also have manwhores. These are the dicks that live for irresponsible sex and have basically no other pastime activity. These are guys who frequently cheat on their girlfriends and show no guilt. But, we need to be honest about something. ALL men pursue sex more actively than women, as a whole. It’s just in us. It doesn’t make us better or worse, but different.
And one more thing: Someone was kind enough to mention that in many cases men are unable to be friends with a woman unless the man feels like there is some chance he could get laid by her, or maybe just enjoy a slightly physical relationship that might satisfy him like frequent hugs, backrubs, kisses on the cheek, etc. This is more or less true, with some exceptions. The truth is that it’s difficult for men to view women as true friends because we know that it’s difficult for us to relate to each other in as many ways as we can relate to other men. Also men have a sort of pack mentality at times and tend to work in groups with each other.
It all comes from the fact that, despite what women have said here, women do not have to work for sex. There was even a study where several average looking women asked random men on campus if they would have noncommital sex with them. The grand majority of the men agreed to this, even the men with girlfriends. When the same experiment was repeated with a man asking women, you can imagine that absolutely NO women agreed to the sex.
So men have to work for, even just hope for sex, because sometimes the work doesn’t even pay off. The worst part about being a man is being able to look at an attractive woman and not seeing a person before we see a sex object. This is made far worse by the surge of porn that this generation has grown up with, and it could be much better if women understood us and offered understanding to us rather than slurs about how we’re all pigs. Each gender faces imperfections and challenges and we must learn to understand and accept each other.
I remember thinking that if men knew what women talked about, we wouldn’t be surprised at all, but if women knew the way men talked about them, their already negative views of men would be reinforced so immensely that they may give up on us completely. Gender relations are hard.
Anyway, just had to say something.
Comment by Moji — 12/20/2009 #
hey–slut is good.
We’ll just be fuck buddies.
Comment by Anonymous — 12/21/2009 #
they call it friends with benefits–talk a bit–sex a bit–no commitment–all on the fly. When ever you can. No hurt feelings if you can’t or just don’t feel like it.
Comment by Anonymous — 12/22/2009 #
This joke is obviously shopped. I can tell from the pixels, and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.
All these comments are shopped too.
You’re all shopped.
Fuck you all.
Comment by Anonymous — 12/23/2009 #
I just want you to treat me like a girlfriend–except I will be sleeping with this new guy and not you anymore. You can still give me gifts, and take me out once in a while if I’m not busy but no sex–I don’t like you like that anymore.
Comment by Anonymous — 12/23/2009 #
Sorry, I’ve read enough and I need to comment. I’m a man and I don’t concur with the majority of male comments here. Nor do I agree with a lot of the female comments. I know what my opinion is in the “let’s be friends” scenario. If my current girlfriend and I were to break up because we just grew apart, or ran out of steam if you will, then yeah, I would remain friends with her because we have so much more in common than just sexual attraction. Basically she’s already a best friend whom I happen to be in love with. However, if she cheated on me, or I cheated on her, or some other terrible betrayal were perpetrated then I wouldn’t expect either of us to want to be friends. Some of the people here start out well with their comments, but then descend into the same area as the chauvinists and the feminists. Not all us guys are horny, unfaithful morons. Chivalry and romance isn’t completely dead. Merry Christmas x
Comment by JJ — 12/23/2009 #
This came from Reddit.com
Comment by Reddit — 12/27/2009 #
when a girl says lets just be friends, she usually doesnt really want that. Its a way to get the man to never speak to you again. You get to feel philanthropic, he gets to be the one to actually say he doesnt want to be in contact and then the woman walks away feeling guilt free.
Comment by ash — 01/07/2010 #