Tag Archives: out of context
Friend: She said she could handle it. She was wrong.
Friend: I terrorized that girl’s poop chute like a Taco Bell value meal.
Mr. Pink: You’re a terrible person. But that isn’t stopping me from laughing.
Mr. Pink: Dude, he puked everwhere. What the fuck?
Friend: It’s not my fault he can’t hold his fuckin’ liquor.
Mr. Pink: That’s because he’s twelve years old, asshole.
Mr. Pink: http://thepiratebay.se/torrent/4915807/College_Girls_Pooping_14
Mr. Pink: …there are 13 previous volumes.
Mr. Maroon: That was the first thing I noticed.
Mr. Pink: You know you’re getting old when you see teenage girls walking with their mom…
Mr. Pink: …and the mom is the one who catches your eye.
Friend: I managed to reverse the direction of my car’s windshield wiper fluid nozzles.
Friend: I now own a 2,000 pound squirt gun.
Mr. Pink: What’s the difference between jam and jelly?
Mr. Maroon: Jam more refers to fruit preserves.
Mr. Maroon: Jelly is made with a mix of fruit, gelatin, and sugars.
Mr. Pink: …I also can’t jelly my cock up your ass.
Mr. Maroon: That’s only because you get hard when you see me.
Mr. Pink: Motherf…
Mr. Pink: Well played.
Friend: “Voluptuous” is code for “Pillsbury” when it comes to online dating profiles.
Mr. Blue: I’m going to pay a homeless guy to follow me around with a boom box.
Mr. Blue: Everything I do from now on will have a theme song.
Mr. Pink: …genius.
Friend: Whatever you do, do not turn on the vacuum cleaner.
Mr. Blue: …the fuck did you do to my Dyson?
Friend: I can explain!
Friend: Crisis averted.
Mr. Blue: Eh?
Friend: Sharted in the shower. Waffle stomped the evidence.
Mr. Blue: What does that mea… oh. Oh, Christ.