Tag Archives: out of context

Out of Context #0247

Posted on 08/01/2011 by Mr. Pink

Mr. Pink: You know you’re getting old when you see teenage girls walking with their mom…
Mr. Pink: …and the mom is the one who catches your eye.

Posted in Random, What | 2 Comments

Out of Context #0246

Posted on 07/03/2011 by Mr. Pink

Friend: I managed to reverse the direction of my car’s windshield wiper fluid nozzles.
Friend: I now own a 2,000 pound squirt gun.

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Out of Context #0245

Posted on 06/09/2011 by Mr. Pink

Mr. Pink: What’s the difference between jam and jelly?
Mr. Maroon: Jam more refers to fruit preserves.
Mr. Maroon: Jelly is made with a mix of fruit, gelatin, and sugars.
Mr. Pink: …I also can’t jelly my cock up your ass.
Mr. Maroon: That’s only because you get hard when you see me.
Mr. Pink: Motherf…
Mr. Pink: Well played.

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Out of Context #244

Posted on 06/02/2011 by Mr. Pink

Friend: “Voluptuous” is code for “Pillsbury” when it comes to online dating profiles.

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Out of Context #243

Posted on 05/15/2011 by Mr. Pink

Mr. Blue: I’m going to pay a homeless guy to follow me around with a boom box.
Mr. Blue: Everything I do from now on will have a theme song.
Mr. Pink: …genius.

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Out of Context #242

Posted on 04/25/2011 by Mr. Pink

Friend: Whatever you do, do not turn on the vacuum cleaner.
Mr. Blue: …the fuck did you do to my Dyson?
Friend: I can explain!

Posted in Random, What | 1 Comment

Out of Context #241

Posted on 04/21/2011 by Mr. Pink

Friend: Crisis averted.
Mr. Blue: Eh?
Friend: Sharted in the shower. Waffle stomped the evidence.
Mr. Blue: What does that mea… oh. Oh, Christ.

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Out of Context #0240

Posted on 04/20/2011 by Mr. Pink

Friend: She had her clitoris pierced. She had a ring in there.
Friend: She did not find my using it like a door knocker nearly as funny as I did.

Posted in Random, What | 3 Comments

Out of Context #0239

Posted on 04/12/2011 by Mr. Pink

Friend: Why do they call it taking a shit? Aren’t you actually leaving it?
Mr. Pink: You’re one of the great thinkers of our time.

Posted in Random, What | 3 Comments

Out of Context #0238

Posted on 04/11/2011 by Mr. Pink

Mr. Pink: How would you like a job as a professional tripod for my massive cock and balls?
Mr. Maroon: Uh.
Mr. Pink: That’s right. Human tripod. For my genitalia.
Mr. Pink: It’s become too much for me to manage, myself.
Mr. Maroon: No.

Posted in Random, What | 3 Comments
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