Tag Archives: out of context
Friend: Everything was going great.
Friend: We had dinner. We went to a movie. We had drinks afterward. I kissed her goodnight. It was perfect.
Mr. Pink: So, what’s the problem?
Friend: She added me on Facebook.
Friend: She plays FarmVille, dude.
Mr. Pink: You can’t be in more than one relationship at a time on Facebook.
Mr. Maroon: What do those bastards have against Mormons?
Mr. Pink: If we ever form a band…
Mr. Pink: …we’re calling ourselves Trouble In the Toilet.
Mr. Blue: She’s cute.
Mr. Blue: But every time she speaks…
Mr. Blue: I get the urge to fucking beat her to death with a puppy.
Friend: I have a strong urge to dump a substantial amount of liquid DNA in her mouth.
Friend: Mark my words…
Friend: Sarah Palin will be on a, “Where are they, now?” show on VH1 in ten years.
Friend: …hopefully to talk about the sex tape.
Friend: I learned today that it’s a bad idea to piss in a urinal with a lit cigarette hanging out of your mouth.
Friend: I had a near-death experience.
Mr. Blue: I have a rule regarding medications advertised on television.
Mr. Blue: It goes a little something like this:
Mr. Blue: Don’t fucking take that shit. They’re lying. It will fucking kill you.
Friend: Shut the fuck up or I’m going to Chris Brown you and Tiger Woods your mother.
Mr. Black: The only difference between a girlfriend and a prostitute is knowing how much it’s going to cost you up front.